“In my world, everyone is always trying to protect each other. No one wants to see others fail or get hurt, and parents especially would do whatever it takes to protect their children. Therefore, the only way to experience true struggle or difficulty is to actually go out of your way to find it. The experiences I have had so far in Guatemala have been far from easy. I have, at times, felt lonely, scared, uncomfortable, and unknown. However, I have also learned more about myself in the past 2 weeks than in an entire school year. I have learned what it means to feel distant, what it means to be an outisider, how to handle being a stranger, and how to appreciate the little things.

The first night of my homestay was one of the most challenging experiences I have had thus far. I was with a family whose first language was not Spanish, I didn´t have a bed, I only had one thin blanket to cope with the extremely cold temperature, and I was living with a family who I did not know, and who knew nothing about me. That night I lay awake almost all night shivering and thinking I had made such a mistake coming on the trip.

The next day I went to one of my instructors and told him I didn’t think I could do it. I was sad and scared and lonely and bored. He helped me understand the value in those feelings. He told me to appreciate the opportunity I had to try and communicate with a family that was so extremely different from my own. He told me that the feeling of being unknown and estranged are feelings that many experience all the time. And most importantly, he told me that no great story or hero comes without struggle and discomfort.

That next night I came home with a completely new outlook (and a warm sleeping bag.) My host mother and I worked together to communicate with each other, both not incredibly fluent in Spanish. We ended up having a deep conversation about her father, who was an alcoholic, and how that affected her life. She did not get to go to school because he chose to spend his money on alcohol instead of on her education. To this day she cannot read or write and does not even know how to properly hold a pencil. She wishes she could have had the opportunity to learn, but he put himself before his family and not only left her without an education, but physically left her alone when he died. She was only 19 years old when he died and her mother had already passed 4 years prior. Thus at 19, she was left to fend for herself without an education.

We discussed how different her life could have been if he had put his family before all else. It was such a powerful conversation and made me look at my own world so differently. Education, which is something that everyone in my world has access to, was something she never got the chance to receive because her own father didn’t think it was worth the money.

That night, as well as the third night I was there, I spent time with my family, learned to appreciate silence, and wrote a lot. There was something so relaxing about just genuinely pausing to draw outside with the fresh air blowing around me. I was so proud of myself at the end of that homestay and so glad I let myself see the circumstances in a different light.

I have been fortunate enough to come from a world where others are always trying to protect me. While that is an incredible thing, I am glad that for those three days, no one was there to protect me but myself. It was up to me to determine how the experience would affect me. I could feel sorry for myself, or I could appreciate certain things that are often second nature to me, like feeling warm at night. I am so glad that I chose the latter of the two options, and that I can look back with fondness at the person I chose to be on the last two nights of that homestay.”

Arielle
Guatemala Program Student